Duplicity
by Lightning and Ice
Summary: For Suntail, life is looking up. As leader's son, he commands respect from all of Stormclan and has fun doing it. For Pebbleheart, life fell apart the same since her sister sacrificed herself for a stranger, leaving her with a distant mother, a timid sister, and a clanmate that won't leave her alone. They get by, but when their stories tangle things will take a turn for the worse.
1. Prolouge

Sunkit woke up to quiet purring. By the sickly-sweet smell of early green-leaf, and by the large tongue raspingober the fur behind his ear, he knew it was Brightstar. His mother, the most respected cat in the clan.  
><em>Does that mean cats will kneel before me once I make my appearance outside? Will they bring my sister and I gifts? Will they make us co-leaders immediately?<br>_ Suntail shook his fur excitedly. He was going to see the outside today! His thoughts were merely wishful thinking.  
><em>It can't hurt to hope too much, right?<em>

"Swankit!" Sunkit hissed through his tiny teeth. "Swankit, wake up! Let's go outside! Let's go see the clan before anyone gets the chance to!"  
>Swankit, a beautiful cream-colored tabby, was clearly out of place. She was beautiful like her mother, and strong-willed like her father, Emberclaw. She was bright cream with stunning blue eyes, faulted only by one eye being covered with what looked to be milk. She couldn't see out of it, though she never complained. Their father, Emberclaw, was a fierce tortoiseshell with blazing amber eyes and a thirst for success. Their mother, Brightstar, a golden she cat with dark green eyes, got plenty of strange looks for Swankit.<p>

Sunkit couldn't figure out why cats looked at him weird when he said that Swankit was his sister. They were _exactly _alike. Plus, Brightstar had said they were siblings, so..

A golden tail wrapped around the both of them and a large muzzle pushed its way in between them. "Did you two plan on asking me?" Brightstar purred.

"Brightstar, can we go outside, please?" Swankit asked, dragging out the _please_ for emphasis.

"For ten minutes, you're still only babies." Brightstar replied, repressing a smile.  
>"We're not babies!" Suntail yipped as he followed Swankit out of the nursery.<p>

) () () () (

"Kits, you can go explore camp, just as long as you all go together," Mother mewed. She turned about in her nest, settling in for a nap.

Ripplekit leapt up, lunging for the nursery's exit. Just before she dashed out, she remembered to call out for Lilykit and me.

"Coming!" I squealed, taking off after her. As I neared my sister, I turned to glance at my other littermate.

Except she wasn't beside us. She hovered among the scraps of moss fallen from our nest.

"Come on, Lilykit," Ripplekit cried, "Let's go outside!"

Lilykit only shrunk farther back. "I don't think I want to. I'll just stay in here. "

I huffed. "Fine. We'll just go alone." Lilykit had been the last to open her eyes, the last to leave the nest, the last to try solid prey. I guess it made sense that she'd be the last to go outside, too.

"No, you won't," came Mother's sleepy reply, "You'll all go or you'll all stay inside. That's final." I stared beseechingly at Lilykit. She couldn't do this to us! We'd been wanting to go outside for _days_.

But Mother's words might as well have been huge boulders blocking us in the den. Even Ripplekit, the most rambunctious of my siblings, wouldn't disobey her. She wasn't just our mother, she was clan leader.

So we fidgeted. Ripplekit and I paced around the den, casting longing-filled glances at the opening, then flicking sad eyes at Lilykit.

Finally, after an eternity of silent begging, she conceded.

"Okay! I'll go. But only for a minute."

When she discovered the willow trees, the soft grass, and the kind cats, she was the last one to come inside.

!_!_!_!_!_!_!

I basically danced into the Stormclan with was was most likely the most obnoxious smirk on my face. I received plenty of rolling eyes glancing in my direction. Of course, _who cares, _ great Starclan, I'm an apprentice!  
>Brightstar walked up to me with obvious pride gleaming in her eyes.<p>

"I'm so proud of you," she meowed "Who would've thought a warrior would actually take you as their apprentice? I thought I would have had to kill you as a kit if you kept another kit up at night with all your gibberish." The sarcasm in her voice was too evident; I could feel her smile as she grazed the side of her muzzle against mine.  
>"'Sunpaw' is quite suiting, isn't it?" Now I'm smiling.<p>

"Swanpaw sounds better," Swanpaw challenged from behind me.  
>Swanpaw took up the role of the medicine cat's apprentice even before she was encouraged to do so.<br>_Encouraged? _ I grimmly thought. _The you're-half-blind-so-you'll-make-a-terrible-warrior kind of encouragement? Or did they play the "It's Starclan's will you become a medicine cat! They told me in a dream!" card?_

I tried to be happy for her, I mean, she seemed to be perfectly fine with her destiny. Brightstar seemed pleased with Swanpaw too, as she licked behind her ears, purring. I just couldn't shake this idea of this not truly being her destiny.

I heard a gasping coming from the far corner of the camp. One of the older she cats whispered something barely audible. I'm not completely sure, but I think she said  
>"My kits! They're coming!"<p>

The she cat that whispered this was Morningfrost, an older, but still beautiful warrior. Our clan's medicine cat rushed nudged Morningfrost towards the privacy of the nursery.  
>Swanpaw's eyes lit up as she raced to our medicine cat, Poolripple's side.<p>

"Poolripple, since I'm your apprentice now, can I please, please, please help you?" Swanpaw asked eagerly, slamming all of her words into one big, jumbled second.  
>Poolripple looked stressed enough with the unexpected arrival of kits, and Swankit popped her top.<br>"No, Swanpaw! This is your _first day_ as an apprentice, you're basically still a kit! Get a hold of yourself and do something useful- wait, I take that back, go take a nap, since that all you know how to do! Besides annoy me in the most unnecessary times, that is!" Poolripple snorted in anger and mumbled something about the "horrible changes" to Stormclan and walked in to help Morningfrost.  
>Swanpaw stood in shock with clear tears forming at the bottom corners of both eyes for what seemed like an eternity before bolting into the marshy forest.<p>

It took me a second to register what had just happened. I ran to the leaders den and quickly said something about leaving camp and then I ran as fast as I could looking for her. I felt bad about not telling Brightstar where I was going, but this was an emergency. I had to find my sister. I heard Brightstar spew some incomprehensible nonsense.  
>Maybe she was mad, but that doesn't matter at the moment. Swanpaw could've been crying for a savior to stop her from running away, or..<br>I sped away, trying to find her scent.

* * *

><p>When I found Swanpaw, she was looking at a tree across the gorge, or should I say, into Rainclan territory. I ran to her as I yelled her name.<p>

"Swanpaw! I was so worried! Brightstar's worried too, come home, the apprentice den will be pretty lonely without you; well, I miss you!" I meshed all of my semi-meaningless word into one big jumbled word and I bounded towards-and into- her.  
><em>WONDERFUL IDEA, YOU IDIOT! Okay let's go over your schedule. <em> _1. Find Swanpaw. Check._

_2. __**NEARLY KNOCK HER INTO THE GORGE. CHECK.  
><strong>_ I removed myself from my sister and I opened my jaws just i ncase I had to save her from the fast-moving water.  
>"You mousebrain!" She was upset, but safe. "You could've killed me!"<p>

_Hey, I could've killed me too! _I thought angrily. I took back my thought as quickly as I could, before I made myself embarrassed.  
>"At least you're dry!" I said stupidly.<br>She snorted in anger and prowled a few tail-lengths away from me. She made a loud _mrrow! _in anger to prove her point. I softened up, just for her.  
>"Hey," I meowed softly. "are you okay?"<br>"Well, I became an apprentice, I try to help since, you know, I'm a medicine cat. It's what I do, or supposed to do. I get yelled at by my mentor, I'm pretty sure she hates me now. Then I made a pawful of cats worry about me. Pretty fantastic day, how about you?" She mewed in despair. "Oh, and I almost get bombarded with an apprentice full of honey-gold hair who almost pushed me into the gorge."  
>With a fake laugh, I try to joke with her by saying "I prefer to think of as if I nearly <em>knocked<em> you into the gorge."  
>She smiled. <em>It's fake.<br>_ I flashed a genuine smile at her and nudged her _softly.  
><em> "Come on, the sun is setting. Let's make it back to camp before anyone worries we fell- we ran away." I stood up. I hope that sent a message to her saying that that's not really an option, more of a command.  
>"Okay." she murmured. With that, she stood up.<br>I smiled. _Things will now be looking up for us now, _I thought.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing!" yowled an unfamiliar voice from behind Swanpaw and I.  
><em>Of course not.<em>

I turned as slowly as I could towards the stranger. That could have been the worst or the best decision of my life. Two scenarios could have come out of it.  
>Scenario One: The loud stranger could be comforted by my hesitation <em>or..<em>

Scenario Two:The stranger could take the opportunity to attack or run while I was still turning in a one-eighty degree turn, as slow as I possibly could.  
>"Who are you? Do you belong to Stormclan? For Starclan's sake, turn around fully already!" yipped one of the cats, now in front of them. Not thinking quick enough, I meowed a yes back.<br>Then I saw them. There were three of them across the narrow gorge, all lean, well groomed, and all around beautiful cats. The oldest cat, which was the one that yowled at us first, was dark brown tabby with a few grey hairs poking out like dead nettles among blooming ones. He had a long body with stripes going down him from neck to tail. His stripes were tinted nearly the same color as the rest of him in the red sunset colors bursting from the sky and through the slowly reddening trees.  
><em>He's loud, <em>I thought.

The next cat he saw was also male, but a sleek brown. He'd clearly been swimming. He was pacing, trying to prove that he was irritated.  
>"You're annoying me more tha I'm annoying you," I murmured to Swanpaw. She snickered.<br>I could hear him from across the gorge. "Just some young Stormclan scum, let's just go!" Elder Brownie did some inaudible chiding.  
>The next cat was a less liquid-infested, and more of a shiny grey-blue. She was about the same age as Swanpaw and I.<br>"Back away from the gorge, you might fall in! I'm pretty sure none of us want to save your tree-climbing butts!" Brownbutt gave her a disapproving look.

Swanpaw mimicked what the Blue Belle had said in a shrill voice; I smiled, it was only kind of funny.

"What are you doing so close? You could literally _die_," Big Brown yelled to us. I wanted to yell something like "_I was coming after my sister you monstrosity. And yes, I do have a sense of my own mortality!" _I kept to "Okay, we're leaving anyway!" I sped into the near darkness with Swanpaw right on my tail.

) () () () (

Some days I trained alone. Some days I trained with Lilypaw. Some days I even trained with Thornpaw, Hollypaw or Dapplepaw. My favorite days, though, were when I trained with Ripplepaw.

Lilypaw, while not as shy as she was as a kit, still shied away from nearly everything exciting. I still remember walking up to her a moon ago, after watching her beg her mentor not to make her spar with Hollypaw.

"If you hate fighting so much," I drawled, " maybe you should just hurry up and be a medicine cat. No point wasting time."

I meant it as a tease, like the barbs I threw at Ripplepaw daily, but it came out cruel-sounding.

Her eyes widened, and Mother appeared almost instantaneously, condemning me to a quarter-moon of cleaning the elder's den.

I'd since apologized, and she said she forgave me, but she never stopped being sensitive.

Hollypaw and Dapplepaw only came to train when my mentor decided I needed a challenge. Even though they were only a few moons my senior, those few moons were extra tricks they could use to outsmart me. If they bothered to stop being better than me, it only lasted until a mentor noticed and reminded them to give their all.

The only fair fights I got were against Ripplepaw. Our blows against each other stung true and sharp, but purrs chased away any pain. We watched each other's backs, and if we fought as a team we never lost, even against Hollypaw and Dapplepaw.

When it came time for the most daunting part of training- having the ancient battle moves, the most secret and dangerous ones done to us to teach restraint in using them- we did it together. The half-moon spent learning about what places to strike would cause pain or even temporary paralysis had been intriguing, but there had always been the fearful undercurrent of _this will happen to me soon._

Lichenclaw, my mentor, stepped up to me, and I extended my forepaw. This was the blow used most often as a demonstration, as there was the least chance of damaging anything

I closed my eyes as he murmured an apology.

The blow sent me sprawling, clutching my leg to my chest as my eyes watered. I barely noticed Ripplepaw thudding to the ground.

"Are they okay? I don't remember it hurting quite that much," Lichenclaw muttered towards Blossomflight.

"I could hit you with a rock and you wouldn't feel it, Lichenclaw. They're strong, they'll be fine."

!_!_!_!_!_!

My training days basically flashed before my eyes. I trained with female warrior, Foxfeet. The amount of tolerance practically radiating from her was phenomenal. Swanpaw, of course, trained with Poolripple. Poolripple spent a whole moon apologizing to Swanpaw for snapping at her, but that didn't keep Swanpaw from cowering everytime Poolripple spoke to her.

I couldn't thank Starclan enough when I found out that Swanpaw and I would be awarded our warrior and medicine cat names on the same day. I basically zoomed around Stormclan yowling it, and Swanpaw sat outside the medicine cat den smiling. The annoying apprentice Pinepaw kept pushing her muzzle into my shoulder telling me how happy she was for me. Her two other sisters looked at us and rolled their eyes.  
>"<em>Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather here beneath the Silverrock<em> _for a Clan meeting" _yowled on oh-so familiar voice.

_Oh Starclan yes!  
><em> I pushed my way to the front because I _can _catch my own prey and _THIS IS IT!_

Brightstar radiated pride and happiness. "I now ask the two apprentices as follows to join me on the Silverrock: Sunpaw and Swanpaw."

The mousebrain Pinepaw gave me an encouraging "Good luck!" as I climbed the rock. As if I needed luck. Swanpaw and I nearly made it to the top at the same time.

"These two apprentices have worked six moons in the minor famine of leaf-fall and they have shown themselves worthy. Foxfeet, Poolripple, have these two fulfilled their duties as apprentices, and are they ready to become a warrior and medicine cat?"  
>They nodded in unison.<br>This wasn't exactly traditional. Swanpaw was technically already a full-fledged medicine, and I'd heard rumors she already has her name. My theory is that Poolripple insisted she officially receive her name from her own mother. I'd shrugged the topic off many times.  
>"Then by the powers of Starclan," Brightstar continued "Sunpaw, you will now be know as Suntail. Starclan honors your strength and your endurance, may Starclan light your path." Brightstar put her muzzle on my head and purred. I could feel her resisting the urge to either lick behind my ears or yowl something along the lines of "<em>SUNTAIL ONLY HAD TO RID THE ELDERS OF TICKS TWENTY-TWO TIMES! TWENTY-TWO!"<br>_ I stepped back and made a pathway for Swanpaw to step forward.

"Swanpaw," Brightstar said, with a warm smile on her face. Swanpaw stepped forward. "By the power of Starclan, you will now be known as Swansong, a full medicine cat. Starclan honors your sacrifice and courage. May Starclan light your path."

_Sacrifice?_

Brightstar did the same to her only daughter and backed away. The crowd began chanting our names like they were surprised we made it this far.

_Suntail! Swansong! Suntail! Swansong!_

Things will be looking up for us now.

) () () () (

On our last night as apprentices, Lilypaw refused to follow us out of camp.

Honestly, it was frustrating. Mother had been pushing Ripplepaw and I to include our sister more, and now that we tried, she wouldn't come.

"We'll need sleep so we can sit vigil tomorrow!" She protested. Ripplepaw rolled her eyes, and let out an impatient snort.

"Fine," I mewed, "Come find us if you change your mind."

Rainclan's camp had no physical boundaries, just trees and boulders. I loved it. If nothing else, it made it easier to sneak out, to get to the blackberry thickets on the border. Only Branchfoot, the medicine cat, came out to them because blackberries aren't worth eating and thorns hurt.

Two things I learned from experience. The first time we came here, in the dead of summer, Ripplepaw dared me to taste one of the shining berries. The hot juice had exploded sour, making me run to gulp down water, and staining my muzzle purple. The thorns bit at us whenever we came, and there was just no way around it.

We sat between bushes,gazing at everything and nothing. I had planned to share my gossip, that one of Honeygaze's kits, Thornpaw's little brother, has a crush on one of us. But it didn't seem like the time to say it. Ripplepaw had lapsed into a tense silence, and I mimicked her without thinking.

"Pebblepaw, " She mewed suddenly, "I'm worried about tomorrow."

"I'm a bit nervous too. What if we get stupid names?"

"That's not the problem," She spat. I flinched back a bit.

"Besides," She mewed, taking a softer tone, "You know Mother picks good names. I'm worried that once we become warriors, nothing will ever change."

"Is that a bad thing?" I asked, more than a bit confused. I had never wondered if warrior duties were anything but another adventure, but it was something to think about. And something about seeing Ripplepaw like this, scared and wild-eyed, set me off. She was always the perfect example of fearless confidence, but not she looked paranoid. Usure.

"It is! Do you want to fall into a rut? Look at the warriors. Look at _Mother. _They wake up, patrol, hunt, eat, and go to sleep. The most exciting thing that happens are kits, and all they do is raise them for a life of the exact. Same. Thing. I can't do that. I _won't _do that."

She breathed heavily, looking around like the thorns were seconds away from tearing into her pelt.

I just wanted it to stop. This was supposed to be a night of fun, but now Ripplepaw was panicking and I was re-evaluating everything I'd looked forward to.

"Look," I mewed, and she did. "I promise we won't be like that. We'll change our own destiny, if we have to."

She seemed to calm a bit, look more like I was used to. Alert, slightly excited.

"You think we can?"

"I _know_. We won't be like the rest of them. We'll be the most outstanding warriors the clans have ever seen."

* * *

><p>Mother did pick good names. Pebbleheart sounded strong, but not stubborn. One of the elders once said that enough pebbles can divert any stream. It was nice to think Mother had that in mind when she picked my name out.<p>

Ripplebreeze liked her name. She was pretty quick, both in her actual speed and her wit, Breeze was a great name for her

Lilystorm's name confused me a bit. Storm conjured up images of a great warrior who whirled into battle, with claws of lightning and blows like thunder. Not a timid she cat who hardly ever unsheathed her claws.

By then I knew the name of the kit- apprentice now - that had a crush on one of us. Lionpaw. His name didn't suit him well at all. He was skinny and smooth-furred, too gentle and kind to be a true lion.

A few days of observation made me believe he liked me, but I wouldn't tell Ripplebreeze that for all the prey in the world. Her confidence was more easily disturbed recently, like moss just barely clinging to a stone.

Lilystorm seemed to slip by whenever I passed her, hardly stopping to speak, only talking to Ripplebreeze to deliver news from Mother. She was kind, but she seemed shy around us. Less like we were family and more like we were friendly strangers.

I wouldn't dare say it, but I think she was afraid of us. It was a sickening thought, one that filled me up with confusion and anger. Just because Ripplebreeze was a bit more wild, I was a bit less gentle, doesn't mean she had the right to think we'd hurt her. Just because we thought differently didn't mean that we weren't family.

Now that we weren't her responsibility, Mother seemed to have no more time for us than the rest of the clan. She said she wanted to spend more time with us, but it seemed like I only ever heard from her through Lilystorm.

Not that I minded. Whenever we did talk face to face she would be full of questions about when I thought I was going to settle down, didn't I think I needed to be more careful, How come she never saw me with anyone but Ripplebreeze…

I shouldn't have to answer. She shouldn't expect me to jump into the life Ripplebreeze was afraid of, that was becoming wary of.

I kept everything quiet. It was better that no one knew.

* * *

><p>Mother perched near Brightstar as the other leader addressed the clans.<p>

"There's been a fox traipsing through our territory, getting pretty close to the border. I'd appreciate if you'd lend me some warriors, because I don't think it cares what side of the border it dines on."

Mother nodded, and named the patrol right there.

Ripplebreeze was on the patrol. I was on the patrol. Lilystorm was not.

By sun-high the next day, we were in Stormclan territory, milling about with the other clan's warriors. The only one who was remotely close to my age was a tom that looked annoyingly like Lionpaw, but closer to Thornpelt in age.

Mother and Brightstar split us into pairs, one Stormclan warrior with one Rainclan. Ripplebreeze got herded away with the Lionpaw-lookalike, and I got pushed aside with a stuffy-looking she cat.

I compulsively looked over at Ripplebreeze every few minutes. I was worried that she would do something in the name of keeping this interesting, but so far she seemed fine. She'd been more reckless lately, pushing herself too hard on patrols, walking along the edge of the lake when it was too dark to see. Still, for now she seemed as calm as she ever did, and I allowed myself to relax, only flicking my eyes over to her every now and then.

One time, however, my eyes lingered on a patch of ginger fur and two bright eyes just behind her and the Lionpaw-lookalike.

My partner looked over, ready to call my attention back to our task, but when she saw what had captured my attention, she called out. .

"Hey! Look out!"

Ripplebreeze looked up at me , then glanced behind her. Her partner was still focused on sniffing the ground.

Within seconds, everything shattered, actions splitting into separate realities.

The fox lunged out of the shadows, straight at the golden tom.

Simultaneously, Ripplebreeze turned, and using all of her weight, she shoved him out of the way.

And I screamed as the fox turned to her and crimson stained her throat.

AN/ WE. DID. IT.

Can you believe it/ I've been saying it was coming for months, and it's finally here.

This, children, is the collab with Vivalakateska (Formerly Brightstarswag). We decided to do it as a NaNoWriMo project, so we've been forced to get some work done. We're just under 10,000 words at the time I'm writing this, and we figured we could throw this at you guys.

However, we don't had a lot of time to edit, so don't expect chapters 'till December. They may come, but it's not likely. (betas, this is where you throw yourselves at us.)

We can answer your questions, if you happen to have them and they're not too spoilery. I write Pebbleheart's POV, and Kate covers Suntail, and we cross edit.

For now, questions, comments and criticism in the reviews!


	2. Briars

When I wake up and it's still dark, I realize I must have had the dream again.

I can try all day and never remember the whole dream, just glimpses. The sensation of cats around me. Loud noises. Bright eyes. A flash of gold.

It's become routine, but that doesn't mean I enjoy it.

Some cats find comfort in knowing they're surrounded by people who care. I've never been one of those. When I'm this agitated, ready to snap at the slightest provocation, there's only one place for me to go.

Whisper quiet, I slip out of camp.

When I was a bit younger, I could sleep through the night, sometimes even part of the day. Then during my apprenticeship, I'd find myself unable to fall asleep. Soon after-

It wasn't long before I was unable to stay asleep too.

At first I would lay in my nest, fidgeting and staring at the sky until I would drop off from exhaustion or dawn roused me with a sun ray in my eyes.

One night, when I hadn't really slept in days but was as awake as ever, I wandered the territory out of sheer boredom. I knew all the places to avoid if I ever wanted to rest again, but I wasn't sure what else I could find.

Eventually I found a good place: A small area of tamped down grass under one of Rainclan's many willow trees. During the day it would be a wonderful respite from one of the frequent showers, but at night it was nothing more than a place of calm.

I find myself there now. After I fight the dream or an annoyingly persistent clanmate, it's the only place I can hope to find rest. Tonight, I have can almost believe that I'll actually find sleep again. if It'll be enough to keep me from stumbling through tomorrow is another question.

When I wake, I'm shivering from the dew that dapples my pelt and my eyes are too bleary to register what I'm seeing. In a few seconds everything resolves, and I see Lilystorm's concerned face hovering over mine.

"Was it a really dreadful one?"

One time I made the mistake of mentioning my nightmares to Lilystorm. I was sure I came off sounding breezy and unconcerned, like it was trivial, but I overestimated my sister's ability to forget.

So now instead of giving her an excuse for my occasional snippy behavior, I've given her a reason to run to mother and worry about me far more than necessary.

"It was just hot in camp. Greenleaf is coming soon, and I was always the most sensitive to temperature."

She gives me a look so disappointed, I almost consider telling her the truth, seeing if she can help me.

Almost. It's not hard to tell that if I let her see me like that, every bit of strength I've tricked her into thinking when she looks at me would vanish like mist in the sun.

We walk back to camp in quietly, until Lilystorm breaks the silence.

"I really wish you wouldn't go out like that."

I should think before I reply, but a sharp spike of emotions takes my words from me.

"Why should you care?"

She takes a tiny step backwards, but it's enough for me to notice and wince.

"Because I don't want to find you've been attacked in your sleep, so far from camp."

I'm proud and a little surprised and the lack of tremble in her voice. Still, I have to swallow my pride to give a nice answer.

"Nothing's ever out there but me, anyway."

"You," she insists, "And muskrats and cottonmouths and foxes."

I have to stop myself from flinching. That was low, and she knows it. I turn to her, fur prickling and ready to snarl at her, but when I see her expression I stop.

She doesn't look triumphant, she just looks concerned and a bit sad. I let myself drop.

"Fine. I promise not to get hurt. Let's just get back to camp before Silverthorn assigns patrols."

We're met with the yellow-furred ball of energy that calls itself Lionpaw.

"Hi, Pebbleheart! Oh, and hi Lilystorm!"

If she's offended that she was an afterthought, Lilystorm doesn't show it. She replies kindly and I try not to let a hiss escape my clenched teeth.

Lionpaw is always happy to see me, and always has been. I thought for sure he'd have the decency to back off, give me some space for a while.

But of course not. He"s let what I was sure was a little crush follow him through apprenticeship, turning into an overgrown thorn bush of ridiculous hope and childish want.

I'm sure that when he becomes a warrior in a few days and feels he can finally act on his feelings I'll be dragged down, forever ensnared in the mess that is Lionpaw. Until then, i'll be keeping myself as free of him as possible.

I give him a nod as i walk past, practically dragging Lilystorm to where we'll wait to be assigned to a patrol. We're late, and the clearing is nearly empty by the time we arrive.

"Who's left?" Silverthorn, our deputy, calls out from a high branch, "Okay, I want Hollyfeather, Lionpaw, and Pebbleheart to hunt. Lilystorm, you and I will cover the southern border."

Foxdung.

Hollyfeather will be Lionpaw's mentor only for a few more days. After those few days, my opinion of her will be drastically increased.

Lionpaw is apparently overly enthusiastic in everything he does, and instead of discouraging this, Hollyfeather has either encouraged or ignored this behavior.

There was no official leader to this patrol, but Hollfeather seems to have taken it upon herself as the eldest to fill that role. It's by her decision the we're fishing at the lake instead of hunting birds in the trees.

Fishing is not an exciting linger over the water, positioning yourself with care. Nearly an hour of waiting can be rewarded with only a few small fish.

Lionpaw doesn't seem to enjoy waiting any more than I do, but he deals with it in an entirely different way.

"Aurgh!" he wails, as once again his rapid strike into the water returns no prey. He sits, disgruntled and still on the shore for only seconds before making the same mistake again.

"You know, you're never going to catch anything like that," I say. With some cats I would attempt to keep the sarcasm out of my voice. Lionpaw is not one of those cats.

When he looks up at me, his expression is so wild and terrified looking I have to remind myself that purring will only make things worse. I _never _talk to him unless spoken to.

He must have realized the same thing, because when he responds, he's stuttering.

"I- um, I'm not the best at fishing and… yes."

"You're going to have to work on it. Your final assessment is coming soo-on," Hollyfeather sings. Her attitude always made me like her more than her sister, and this is no exception.

His face falls, and I can't help but feel a bit bad for him.

"look, you can't just blindly flail into the water. you've got to be gentle. Quiet."

that advice came to me from an unlikely source, one that wouldn't, really couldn't tell him first hand. It feels slightly wrong to be telling him, like i'm eating prey that will make me sick.

Still, when he tries it and it works, everyone seems a bit happier with me.

It feels nice to walk into camp, carrying prey and surrounded by happy cats. Much nicer than slinking in alone.

Any residual happiness vanishes when I see Mother striding up to me. She looks as she always does, clean but slightly ruffled. Even when she's right in front of me, I know her mind's anywhere but here.

"Pebbleheart! Looks like you got some good catches in! Why don't you set those down and come talk with me in my den for a bit?"

I don't want to, but I'm not being given the chance to refuse. One more problem with being the leader's daughter.

I turn to nod a goodbye at the other cats from the patrol, but only Lionpaw is still there. He nods back and dashes off, probably to look for his littermates. I'm slightly relieved, because somehow the pack of them is less trouble than one on its own.

I set the couple of fish I managed to catch down on the prey pile, and take a deep breath to steady myself. Mother's den has never been a place I enjoy being.

It started at kithood, when it was the one place in camp we were forbidden from. As soon as I was old enough to know I didn't want to go in, it became the place mother would drag me into once a moon.

I squeeze into the dark space between the roots of the biggest willow in camp. Why Mother chose this as her personal space, I'll never understand.

I can barely make out her outline, but I can see her motion for me to sit down. Uneasily, I do.

"How are you?"

_Don't over think it. _I'd love to, and I definitely have twisted barbs into mothers words that she didn't intend. If she wants to offend me, she will. I do not need another reason to mistrust her.

"Pretty good. patrolling was fun. "

Her tail flicks. "Really? I haven't hear you say that in a while. Who were you with?"

"Hollyfeather, and Lionpaw." Short, quick answers will be my salvation.

I can't see her face, but I'm sure her eyes widened at my words.

"Lionpaw will most likely be a warrior in time for it to be announced at the gathering," She leans in close and whispers, like we weren't the only cats in earshot already. "I have to wonder what that'll mean for you."

She purrs, but I have to choke down a hiss.

Thankfully, Silverthorn barges in before I get the chance to respond.

"Icestar! Swanfeather's kitting!"

"Oh!" Her eyes shine. "I better go check on her." She bustles of of the den, leaving me with images I never want coinciding in my mind.

Lionpaw, Mother's plans,and kitting.

Lionpaw isn't even that bad of a cat, I think on the way to my nest. It's that everyone's expectations are horrible things with gnashing teeth. Lionpaw expects me to fall in love with him the second he has a warrior name. Both of our families expect kits within a couple moons.

No one bothered to ask what I expect of my own life, and it surely isn't that. I know exactly what to expect if follow that path, and I have plenty of reason to fear it.

Expectations will be the death of me, and I won't be their first victim.


End file.
